Not in Portland Anymore

Before I left Portland, I deeply craved a different life. To spend my day-to-day and weekends differently. To challenge myself. To grow. Sure, I wanted to see more of the world, eat delicious food, and meet amazing people; but more than anything I just wanted a radical change.

Aside from financial worries, I had some (more like many) fears that held me back from making this change.

For one, I used to think that all nomads and long-term travelers like to party and socialize constantly; that there were no introverted homebodies (especially Tauruses) that voluntarily traded their homes for a suitcase to roam the world. No matter how badly or how long I wanted this life, I wasn’t sure if I was “cut out” for full-time travel.

EXPECTATIONS

Oftentimes it can be hard to drown out the noise of what others do or want in life (or travels) and hear your truest desires clearly. Just like it’s hard for most to drown out the noise from society and family about getting married and having kids, the same is true when it comes to travel. There is an expectation or assumption that just because you’re traveling or living abroad that you must engage in certain types of activities (or lifestyle), like constantly meet new people and see as much as possible.

I often find myself putting this unnecessary pressure on myself, to do more and to see more, and if I’m not doing x, y, z then I’m not taking advantage of this amazing opportunity. Fast travelers and extroverts can sometimes cloud my judgement for what I truly crave in life. Sometimes I wonder if I’m “doing this right.”

But who says there has to be a correlation between travel and anything?

That’s the thing… just like with exercise or food, travel is for everyone. There are no rules to [full time] travel… anyone can do it, regardless of your age, lifestyle or personality type. What’s important is your intention and happiness. Fuck what everyone else is doing (note to self).

HAPPINESS

“Happiness and fulfillment come only from mastering the mind and connecting with the soul — not from objects or attainments. Success doesn’t guarantee happiness, and happiness doesn’t require success. They can feed each other, and we can have them at the same time, but they are not intertwined. […] Happiness is feeling good about yourself, having close relationships, making the world a better place.”

Jay Shetty, Think Like a Monk

In his book Think Like a Monk, Jay talks about how popular culture celebrates the pursuit of success. TV shows, songs, and social media promote this culture of grinding, image, and achievements.

“As long as we keep attaching our happiness to the external events of our lives, which are ever changing, we’ll always be left waiting for it.”

Tara Brach

In a world with easy access to what other people do and achieve, and a culture that celebrates achievements and success, it can be challenging not to attach our happiness to external events. But I’ll be damned if I spend my life chasing “success” in exchange for happiness.

MY [MINI] REVELATION

Today I walked the beautiful Kleopatra Beach in Alanya, a town along the Turkish Riviera, and spent hours in the warm sun reading my book until sunset. I took a moment to take in the beautiful scenery, breathe, and be grateful. That’s when it hit me: reading on a beach in February? This sure as hell is not how I’d be spending my Saturday in Portland.

And that’s all I really wanted after all.